I’m using an executive’s office suite during covid because where I used to sit is shut down temporarily. At first I was nervous and on my best behavior - I dressed professionally, cleaned up after myself, didn’t take up too much space, stayed quiet. But after a few months of having an entire office building to yourself, you start to let yourself go a little, you know? One day you wear your jeans with the gaping holes in the knees. The next you’re wearing some sort of camo-themed work shirt. Then come the flip flops and two-months-behind-schedule pedicures. You start using the executive bathroom, instead of the one out in the elevator hallway for the normies. You start taking your calls on speaker while you pace around nervously. Before you know it, you’re wearing all of these individual items as one outfit and you’re bringing up lunch from the sushi restaurant of the Broiled-Salmon-Cheeks-With-Miso-Soup-And-Salad genre for lunch because dammit, #treatyoself. And salmon cheeks sounds cute and all, but it’s a whole other ballgame when we’re talking about a gigantic platter of broiled fish, complete with a charred fish fin or two for decoration purposes. So there you are, doing you. Living your best life. Hot Girl Summer, am I right? And then, out of nowhere, people show up. Very Important People. At this point the entire floor smells like a fucking fish factory and you’re up there squatting in a fancy office wearing god knows what talking to your work bff on speaker and the only one who can be blamed is you because who else in the name of god would be eating a platter of charred fish at 10:30 in the goddamn morning.
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